North Korea and Me

Monday, 15 May 2017

North Korea and Me

Its a catchy title to grab your attention. I did actually nearly go to Korea, South Korea 20 years ago to teach English. Instead I met and married a Shanghai girl.

When we had the Cyber Attack on  the NHS and the rest of the world a couple of days ago 
I immediately said to my family North Korea was behind it.

Now on the ticker I'm proved right.

This is the Logic of Insanity.

If I die you die, MAD , mutual assured destruction.

This also proves to me that only an act of God, Heart attack or  Earthquake 11 points on Richer Scale

Will stop this madness.

Appeasement does not work, ask Chamberlain, the family are Birmingham  people by the way.

After the 3 nuclear bombs are used to disarm North Korea, and after Hawaii is nuked by his rusting

old submarine.

then we will say no more new nuclear states will be allowed.

Then Russia and USA will cut their nuclear arms in half, still being able to destroy the world many

times over. If its true we have nuclear under the sea weapoms, these could destroy  coastal USA but

poison the seas forever. So no Nuclear is Space or Sea will be agreed.

If you read my story REDEMPTION a week or so ago that talks about this too.

I'll write something Comic  in the morning. Though 45 years ago maybe in a comic book I read that a child dreamed of pointing his finger and all the gangsters disappeared. All the scar faced gangsters. So it makes you think who would you point your finger at. 

The Logic of Insanity tells me things will get worse before they get better. Perhaps Putin will insert himself into the situation. Perhaps Trump will resign and Pence will have to decide what to do, just as Truman did.


Maybe we'll all wake up and you'll all be reading my comic short stories syndicated world wide. And I'll finally have a   nice house. Or maybe It's a dream and I'll wake up in bed with Rupert Murdoch, instead of somebody just as clever but female and much much younger.

Ok, its better to laugh than live in fear, besides Kim is coming to Birmingham for our Jazz Festival, Cadburys is here so that should entice him to make Peace. Come to Birmingham Kim, and live in Peace in Bournville the home of Cadburys.  But if you are Cadburys update your antiVirus NOW!

Singing as Pain relief

Singing as Pain Relief ©

By

Michael Casey

Well the pain was a bit of a Sledge Hammer this morning, though I am no Peter Gabriel, but I would like a bit of Steam. There’s this house for sale on Rightmove and it has a steam room, so I’d love to live there. Though I’d have to sell my body to be able to afford it, and only Birmingham Medical School would be interested. Ok, maybe the rag and bone man could sell it for glue.

So where was I, yes I was Singing, I sing badly, but deliberately so, I have a variety of voices. I have my attempting to sing properly voice. My Russian Basso Profundo voice, my Barry White voice, I’ve trapped my nuts in the mangle Bee Gees voice and a few others in various fake accents, British and International. Its nice to sing along, we all do it, even if its only in the bath.

My body takes a while to warm up some days, then I become a purring machine or animal. You are all making up your own stories now, listen there is only one Storyteller here, so kindly leave the page. Where was I, if your hips hurt and your shoulders have joined in and your nipple or just above it is so sensitive, then you have either had a hot night of passion. Or you are me and you have just had a night in bed alone, awaking every 2 hours like a vampire rising. Though…

When you get to the kitchen you spill the beans, because you’ve tripped over Totoro the cat, or whatever you call your pussie. So you scrape the coffee back into the jar and make yourself a mug of instant coffee. The flavour is always nice, though this morning it will have the added flavour of whatever the wife was chopping on the breakfast bar the night before. Kenco Rapor with added giblets or kiwi fruit or any other exotic Chinese vegetable you can possible imagine, it certainly gives a certain je ne sais quoi to the taste.  

I put them radio on and sing along, some songs I know others I bastardize, rhythms added and subtracted and divided too, sometimes a bit of calculus used on the lyrics. And yes as a writer sometimes I think these lyrics are so bad, or so easily constructed, I am just so JEALOUS. One song can set you up for life. So any musicians DO get in touch.

Let’s write a Swimming Pool as John Lennon was alleged to have said once. And if you are Andrew Lloyd Webber my comedy Play Shoplife could easily become a musical I have ideas but I cannot sing. Lets get together and write me a HOUSE with a sauna, there’s one on righmove right now.

If I were a Rich Man I’m starting to sing right now, between my tears, if I were a rich man, I’d be a poor man as I have daughters, I have daughters. I have audio of this too. But where was I, I was singing along to the radio in the morning, as my body warmed up and the pain lessoned. I can hear a distant banging that gets louder. Its my next door neighbour, she’s banging away, she must like this song too, or does she appreciate my singing. Or is she being her meat, no she’s a vegetarian. She’s banging on the wall, she must  really hate Boys2Men, or could it be my singing? No, can’t be that.

I’m all warmed up now, I stumbled over Lilly in the shops, I tell her I’m her stalker, and she says no its my turn this week. I have odd numbers and she has even numbers of the week to stalk each other. Then we laugh like drains by the baguettes, or was it the yoghurts, anyway something nice to eat. Lilly and me have a laugh and a joke sharing and caring, blocking the aisle. 15 minutes later I have to go I tell her, my brown loaf has gone limp while I’ve been holding it like a rugby player holding his balls.

I tell her she’s given me an idea for a new story in 14UP which is the name for this collection of stories I’m writing. 14UP because its twice as good a 7Up, which is Snow White’s favourite drink. All I need is a title and then I can write 1000words. She raises an eyebrow so I tell her she looks more and more like the Fortune Teller down the road, she says everybody says that. So I told her to stop selling clothes pegs in the street then. She threatens to squeeze my brown loaf, so I back off laughing while she goes in search of tinned peas.

At the checkout a body building and gym coach is telling the checkout lady how to lose weight and keep it off. I know is a gym coach because, because he looks so fit, just like me. Don’t laugh or I’ll squeeze your brown loaf, and I can make it really hurt. So now I’m home and I’m Singing for Pain Relief, you can hear me singing along to Celine Dion, I have to practice my French somehow. It makes a change from all Chinese I hear.

As I speak to you I’ve switched to Jean-Michel Jarre I cannot sing along to him but I can put his music to my words, or rather my stories, he’d be great soundtrack music to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, do you think if I gave him a brown loaf, a bit crushed, he’d agree to do the music. It is wholemeal after all, perfect for all his movements, the musical kind.

So you can see that Music is my diet, the best part of my diet, it fills me with Hope and Joy, no they are not Oriental girlfriends, you are making up your own stories again. Serge can you stop doing that or Putin will make you polish his shoes, and when I say his shoes, I mean Putin down the street, Putin the shoe shop. Any other name is purely coincidental.

To sing is to doubly praise, and it lifts our souls up when pain is a right pain, by singing we allow Love and Grace to enter our heart. And yes Love and Grace are two Oriental girls I met at the butchers.

Why Do I have Total Recall?

Why do I have Total Recall? ©
By
Michael Casey

Why do I have Total Recall   to remember the Pain
Why do I have Total Recall   to remember the Happiness Before
Why do I have Total Recall   to Never Lose my Parents
Why do I have Total Recall   to Remember Every Single Laugh
Why do I have Total Recall   to Forgive the Lies
Why do I have Total Recall   to Dry the Tears
Why do I have Total Recall   to Share the Future
Why do I have Total Recall   to Learn from the Past
Why do I have Total Recall   to Slow Life Down
Why do I have Total Recall   to Give me Courage
Why do I have Total Recall   to Never be Alone
Why do I have Total Recall   to Keep the Dead Alive
Why do I have Total Recall   to be a Historian of Life
Why do I have Total Recall   to be remember how Love was
Why do I have Total Recall   because sometimes the Past is Better
Sometimes it’s better to Forget and Let the Past Go
Sometimes the Past is like a Shadow or Cloud over the Present
Sometimes we wish we could Wipe our Minds
Sometimes we wish we could Rewind our Words
Sometimes we wish we were Deaf
Sometimes we wish we were Blind
Sometimes we wish we had no Taste
Sometimes we wish we had no Touch
Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes
But if we have no Past
But if we have no Feelings
But this or But that
Finally in the End without Feelings
Finally in the End without Touch
Finally in the End with Love
Finally we would be Nothing just Dead
So we Must try
So we Must have Pain
So we must Scream in the Night
So we must Lie Awake swearing at the Stars
So we must Lie Awake swearing at God
So we must Lie Awake Fighting our Devils and Demons
So we must do to the Edge Of Our Fears
So we must Learn to Pray Again
So we must Learn to Love Again
So we should not be Afraid of Our Total Recall
Its a Gift Few Have
Its a Gift Few Have
Each Moment of Our Lives and Those we Remember is Precious
Our memories Give Them extra Life Past their Death
In Our Memory Life is Immortal
In Our Memory Life is Immortal
And that’s Why I have Total Recall
For in my Life I am sharing God’s Immortality

Cartoons and Donald Trump

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Cartoons and Donald Trump

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/01/telegraph-cartoons-may-2017/blower-cartoon-may-2/

Just go to the daily Telegraph and look at their cartoons.

i use words to draw cartoons I just wish I could actually draw them.

i've had toast and tea and pain killers so i'll try and get some sleep now its 3.45am only me and Donald are awake i imagine.

So Donald, can I give you advice as a parent. You  seem to really really love all your children.

Me, due to lack of job opportunities and then ill health I've spent a lot of time with my girls, so I am very fortunate because of that. If I get to your age before I die I'll be content, at least both my girls will have their PhDs by then.

As for you,  I'd say just walk away from this day job and play golf with Barron, these next few years are the  most important in HIS life. So let him remember you at your very best.

You've proved everything to yourself.

Now have quality time with Barron, and even back to the business that you love.

Why be President when you can be a Father full Time, I know which one I'd chose.

I am already a Father full time, despite my Arthritis and CkD and my quadruple heart bypass.

Its always better to walk before you are pushed.

Other than that my Pharmacist is a really good golfer, so why not play a round or two with him.

Me, all I'm fit for is writing stories, over 1100 of them,  over 1,066,000 Words and counting.

If you know any Publishers then all my material is up for grabs, there is only one Michael Casey
after all....

funny who you meet in the street

Funny Who You Meet in the Street ©

By

Michael Casey

Well morning broke with a screech, the wife had found my glasses under the fruit bowl, where I keep my bananas. She found them not me. I had looked behind the microwave and did not see them. Next to the microwave is our fruit bowl, but as it was full my shades were hidden in plain sight. So if you have looked at the previous post of me looking almost slim, for a 245pounds man that is, this is the correction. But the bit about bananas is still funny as far as I am concerned.

After I’d done my chores I was going to take a peek at a house, but on the way there I stumbled over an old neighbour, he was bending down planting flowers outside a church. A dead relative of his used  to attend that church, so not that her house had been sold he was transplanting her potted garden to the church she used to attend.

This is a very nice thing to do, and reminded me of my own mother, this week marks the 21^st anniversary of her death which let to me ultimately finding a wife in my 40s, its all in Padre Pio on Me on the Internet. The thing about my mother was that after her funeral my sister was going into her own house a few weeks later and was struck by the sight and smell of daisies. Our mum had sneaked up and planted them in my sister’s front garden, so if you like it was a final kiss goodnight to my sister.  

Back to the phantom gardener in the street he is in fact a carpenter and odd job man. He tarted up my bathroom ready for my Shanghai wife ready to return to me and he installed a one metre square mirror on the bedroom wall, actually 1.5 metres square. I didn’t have many mirrors, but wives need mirrors.

I was talking to the odd job man and it turns out his daughter is a doctor in Sheffield, I suppose she could become a surgeon, as that’s where all the knives used to be made. She is 20 years older that my own daughter, who wants to follow the same path to be a doctor. He mentioned the Sheffield pathway which isn’t a nice scenic walk but a thing doctors do in Sheffield. I mentioned it to my daughter and to her Indian friend who wants to be a doctor too, so I could end up visiting there if I live that long. The irony being my own dad was a blacksmith and steelworker.

I mentioned I did a bit of writing, he half assumed I wrote poems and songs, I told him I wrote all kinds of everything without Dana though. 13 books or 1,000,000 plus words which is over 3000 pages. I said I wrote mainly short stories, such as meeting a carpenter in the street planting flowers, and the I’d go home and write about it. So here he is planted in a story, as I water it with words.

He has moved over 5 times he tells me, his advice is move to an empty place and don’t stay in a chain as it will drive you mad. A friend of his was in a chain waiting to move on for 11 months. Personally I’d put a sunset clause into any house purchase agreement. I was talking to our girls and if one of the houses we recently seen doesn’t sell perhaps if they come back to us then our quest would finally be over.With the help of God and Two Policemen as my mother used to say, or perhaps my mother will use her influence in Heaven soon, I’ll let you all know.

I carried on up the road after I’d bored him enough, and went looking for the house which I was going to scout out today. Scout out is now a Police phrase, where the Police scream, come on out all you scouts and no tying knots or playing with your toggles. No, its where you physically walk the area where you want to buy a house. Just driving there and not walking the area is bad practice, you will be living there so always walk an area before you put an offer in. You could end up living next door to a fat man in shades with silver hair who writes stories, whoever that might be.

So I looked at today’s house and I did not like the outside, the roof needed attention, even though internally it had all been done up. One outside wall looked perished, the gutter was half falling off, and the door handle was all scratched, and this was supposed to be a new front door. The front room looked smaller that our own front room.

The price differential between a non-done up house and a done up house is 33% on top. So is a house worth 33% on top for a bit of paint and a new bathroom and kitchen. You have to see the specification and work out what could you get from your Polish builder if you bought a cheaper house and had him do it for you.

I’ll tell you, the Polish guy and his mates would do it for 15 to 20% on top, so you save 10 to 15%. Or in money terms you could then buy a new car instead of paying for the ready to move in at inflated price house.

I’ve been looking at the housing market seriously for a year now, and as a hobby for several years, so I’ve learnt a few things, yes not enough you always learn more. While I was looking at today’s house I spoke to a lady with long grey hair who was walking two dangerous dogs. For her they were her little puppies, but I stayed on the other side of the street just to be on the safe side. If you talk to the neighbours and people using the street then you can get a flavour of a place. The lady said I should stop by for coffee if I decided to move into the area, number Z was her house number, I won’t reveal it, but the two dogs barking might.   

When I was house hunting myself years and years ago, when we did not have Google maps etc, 50% of the houses I scouted I did not like. So nowadays we are all so fortunate to have rightmove and so forth. Well my belly is rumbling and I must see if Corbyn has run over any more BBC cameramen, electioneering is a blood sport now, just like fox hunting. But at least you all know just how I get my stories. One last thing they are painting the local pub, and I mentioned to the foreman that it would show the dirt as it was a light colour and its a main road. He told me it was a special paint, almost self cleaning if I understood him correctly. I did ask could he paint me in it, he just laughed, he was too kind, as he could have said they didn’t have enough paint to cover my size.