The Lady in the Red Hat in Aldi

The Lady in the Red Hat in Aldi ©

By Michael Casey

Well the Arthur pain has subsided, and I’ve just had my constitutional walk up to the clock and then to the shops and home. It’s such a relief now that Arthur has calmed down. Mind you my surgery scars were a double bastard last night, it was kinky sex club again, as far as my neighbours were concerned.  Me, screaming in pain, the slightest touch and I scream, or they just throb and make me scream. I hope I’m not putting anybody off heart surgery now. Then there was the Police helicopter overhead at 2.30am, no doubt looking for the murder happening.

So I was in Aldi, there was this really nice red hat, and it was worn by a nice old lady, with arthritic hands. So we got talking, I do hate behaving as if at a funeral while in a queue for my veg and chicken. So accost anybody who’ll listen. The red hatted lady mentioned Joan Bakewell reading her book on the radio, only she just made  the red hatted lady’s daughter get depressed. So mum, or the red hatted lady just told her daughter to switch it off.

So we continued our conversation as the conveyor belt edged forward, and my packet pancakes wobbled and fell over. I did tell Mrs Red Hat that I liked her hat, I added that my daughter had a black hat that made her look like a young Jewish girl, and my other daughter wore a hoody and a woolly hat indoors which reminded us of the  Pakistani child in East is East.

We also touched on late night radio comedy not being funny, I said it was an alternative to comedy, ie. It was not funny. I did mention that somethings were for the ears and should be heard and not read out. I mentioned Maeve Binchy’s  Times letters which I found to be much better if I read them aloud to myself.

So that was about the extent of our conversation, I did of course tell her to google me, michaelgcasey, and if she has I hope she is smiling as she reads this. That’s if she’s not busy booking Romeo and Juliet, I did mention Ballet to her of course. So that’s all my news for today. I have decided to forgo Twitter, it’s more likely I’ll find a producer/publisher in the queue at Aldi than on the bird table that is Twitter.