Tidy Desk

Tidy Desk ©

By

Michael Casey

If you have seen any of my glamorous photos, no I’m not a Bunny Girl, then you’ll have seen me sat in front of the computer which sits on a computer trolley thing. Cheap and cheerful, its the words that count, I do lust after a desk such as Charles Dickens had, I use it as a screen saver on occasions, when I’m not using a snap of a dream house. If any of my fans do get around to buying books or the BBC allows me to have a Postcard from Birmingham then I’ll finally get that house and the Dickens desk.

Until then I have to keep my space clear. I have a corner with scrap paper on, last years diary and backs of any letters that come to the house. This is to put my coffee mug on, and to write notes to myself, and to keep a tally of how many words I’ve written in total and in the next book. I was going to tell you only the paper is too soggy. So I’ll just have a quick look into the files. 15 Down which will be my next book is 40, 274 words long so far, or 90 pages, as for my grand total, that is 1,171,883 words or 3500pages or so.

On my desk,or perch is a large screen set to large font size, and behind it are some cheap but nice sounding speakers. The screen is a cheap one too, but good. I also have a couple of pens on the desk. One is an over-sized silver coloured one which was a present for my 50^th Birthday from the print room crew at Pinsent Masons Law Firm. I think only the beautiful Ang is still working there now, but I could be wrong. I also have a cheap diary for this year on my desk, which I never seem to use,as I prefer to put things on the calendar on the wall which I can see to the left of me.

So there you have it, this is my spot where all my words are written, which means I have to be tidy as there is no space for clutter.  I do have the window in front of me that I can look out, or gaze out if you prefer posher language. I pick a word or a title and away I go, an hour later I have another story, well over 1200 individual stories now I think. I have re-posted a few things over the years so the exact number would have to be collated.

No I don’t rewrite, I just write, I am not Jeffery Archer after all, I put it on paper and its done, just as quick as your kebab is made. Though Jefferey has a Monet on his wall and I have an Bourne-Jones Angel, it was a leaving present from my computer job, Jefferey’s Monet was as a result of selling millions of books, 300million, is that the books or his fortune. God Bless him, I did try to get him to place The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker in his guest toilet but he declined, gracefully. Maybe he’s reading M.P. Marriage to a Person Marriage to a People from my novel which is on my site right now, 100s of readers in just 2 days. Just in time for the Party Conference. Anyway I hope he smiles if he sees this, even if my novel never makes it to his Guest Toilet in Mayfair.

As ever I have digressed, my writing seems to be a cross between Joyce Grenfell and Ronnie Corbett, which makes me Gerald Wiley perhaps?

As my big daughter is now staring her A levels I threw out an old sofa, or rather a very strong black guy took it away when he and a Muslim lad delivered a new table for my daughter to study at. So now my “study” is shared with my daughter. Though we face in different directions, we are not dueling pianos like Liberace and his assistant, but there is a piano to my left, squeezed into the front room.

I do insist that she keeps he much larger desk tidy, it is more that twice the size of my perch here. If I now have to share my space then I don’t want it looking like a tip. It has been Girliefied with ornaments and the like but no water allowed on the desk, yes I have a mug, but I don’t want spillages on electrical stuff up the corner which backs on to paper supply and bookcase. No dumping of school bags either, TIDY means TIDY, I did work in a 4 star deluxe hotel, I just remembered Mary Archer paid a visit to CPNEC Birmingham while I was there, she gave a speech I seem to remember. I’d forgotten that till just now, that’s how my vacuum cleaner mind works.

Anyway if you have to be tidy at work I expect my girls to be tidy at home, or at least keep my “study” tidy, though their smelly shoes do litter the place till I evict the shoes. Totoro our cat does come in and tries jumping on my daughter’s new desk as its another object for her to climb. You chase her off so she leaps on the piano then the armchair in the window before settling down on the windowsill like an Amsterdam hooker. Totoro does wake me up at 2am by scratching at the window will I let her out, hence the hooker analogy, though she could be a good girl, but cats keep their whiskers crossed.

So its nearly time for bed now,its been a terrible day for pain, but I have written this so I’m pleased. And I’m very pleased with the reaction to my Political comedy on my site. We all get the government we deserve, I’ll just say Happy 61^st Birthday Theresa May, they are all bastards as John Major said, but at least your husband really loves you, I have spotted you both twinkling.