Perfect Passwords for 2018

Perfect Passwords for 2018 ©

By

Michael Casey

They encourage you to change your Passwords every 3 months, I of course change mine as often as I change my socks and pants. Every 2 months, that way nobody comes near enough to steal my Passwords the smell is so overpowering. It protects my Password, why not try it for yourselves. You have already, good, I’ll just open a few more windows, the dog has fallen over and the cat has leapt out of the window even though I live on the 19^th floor.

Passwords should be easy to remember but hard to forget, no not the inverse of my writing, you cheeky people. Little do you know I use your names as Passwords. Of course I have an easy password so the NSA or North Korea can hack me again without leaving Egg Fried Rice all over my keyboard, and my password is nice and simple:- Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch which  as you all know is my local bus station here in Birmingham.

I used to have a password to celebrate the love I had for an old boss, BigFatBastardIHopeYouBurninHell, they say that phrases are easier to remember after all. Nowadays I have, GivemethePainKillersQuick as a favourite password. Along with, DADDYNeedstoPEE, or BloodyUselessKidneys are amongst the revolving passwords I use.

Passwords can be words of joy such as, FrenchKisswithGeography as a way of remembering your first boyfriend or girlfriend. NoodlesMYBaby is another over used Password. PrawnAgainNoodles does the rounds too as a password. NOSaladERver can be a good Password. HEARTattackwhen is another favourite.

All your bad habits can be used as passwords. Only people who really know you well will have an inkling about what you are on about. KimlovesDonald is a favourite with the NSA janitors, its the only way they can access the toilet paper store. Donald10000DegreeSuntan is a favourite with North Korean hackers. Really when all the nastiness is over they can all do the Degree course in Japan for Gaming. In fact the son of a friend of my wife’s is doing that course Computer Gaming. He may or may not be visiting in the New Year so I’ll have the chance to persuade or bore him with the idea of using my stories as Games. Then no doubt he’ll change his Password to, BoringOldWhiteHairedF

But it proves my point, a sentence is a funny Password and easier to remember and much harder to hack.

I did have I Love Dan Brown as a Password but my daughter guessed it in a nanosecond. Obviously I don’t love Dan Brown, because he is a man and although I don’t mind people being Gay, I am not. Dan Brown would have to be a North Korean Army Girl before I would even look at him. I can hear my wife laughing in Shanghai as I write this. Also as good as the Film versions of his stories are, I think he cannot write at all. Make money yes, but write no. I can tell you what HIS next Password will be, FATBIRMINGAMLOSERWITHWHITEHAIR

Me I think I can write, 30 years worth, but without somebody or anybody opening that door and allowing oxygen to my words, then I’ll just be the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England. FOREVER UNDISCOVERED could be my Eternal Password.

The point about Dan Brown is that you can have a reverse Password, something you hate can become your password, such as ILOVECABBAGE could be a child’s password. IHATEKIDS is the Password that removes the wheel clamp from Santa’s Sleigh. Nobody is going to interfere with Rudolf because of the IHATEKIDS Password.

I’ve just remembered I was in Killarney once with my aunty Delia and one of her many friends was the Tangny family who ran the water treatment plant for the town, and had a pony and trap coach. This may have been Christmas 1973. There were very high fences about because the deer can jump so high. I was going to make a joke about Rudolf but my aunt kicked me under the table. Why, because one of the family was called Rudolf. Now only I know this story, so any passwords that use part of this story could never be broken.

Yes I know I write so much that I could give away a Password,but then again have you read all the 1,200,000 plus words, with all the jumbled up possibilities. But far far worse than that what would the NSA or North Korea find on my computer or websites? Or even in my books? OK, I’ll tell you.I have a picture of Donald Trump on his  hands and knees in the Oval Office along with Hillary Clinton. They are both fully clothed and there is a caption saying “WHERE IS OUR INTEGRITY”  Standing next to them is a naked FBI boss, and there is another caption “SEARCH ME I HAVEN’T A CLUE”

Well I think that’s enough for today, events in today’s news in UK gave me the idea for Passwords. But as you know anything can give me an idea, such as wind, either in the sky or beneath the sheets, so consider yourselves lucky that TODAY was my PASSWORD.