The Perils of Job Hunting

The Perils of Job Hunting ©

By Michael Casey

So Christmas is over and you start to think how much you hate your boss, sure you enjoyed snogging him at the Christmas party, but really you hate the SOB. So you are down the gym trying to avoid looking at  your bouncing boobs while you are on the treadmill. Or wishing your lunchbox was bigger, depending on your sex, or gender if I have to be PC. As you sweat you think I deserve better than this so you look at the job ads as you jog.

The salaries are so large, as large as your bouncing boobs or your fat arse, or as large as  you wish your lunchbox was, sometime you wish you were that Dave runner guy. But now you just wish you had another job. It’s the money that motivates.  40K for doing that, you do double that for half that. Only the job requires you to move to another city. To any city in any place you care to mention, depending on where you are as you read this, maybe Singapore or  Boston USA, or Kiev  or Paris or Egypt, where ever you are.

But for that money you’d go to the moon and you wouldn’t have to share with that stupid girl from your college days or with that dodgy bloke with the smelly feet. So you apply for the job, not realising that the Cayman Islands are in the Caribbean, and not a Channel Island near France. You don’t know the costs of anything. You have not done your research, so 40K may be twice what you ae on now, but over there  with living costs and so on, its half what you are on. So 40 does not equal  twice 20, in real terms 20 equals 10.

It’s a basic mistake that people make when they are in a hurry. You have to spend a minute checking your figures  before you apply. Living costs and Transport costs matter, and in London you have congestion charge too. Do you like going down the Tube? Some people do not, the Shanghai Metro is glittering and new as is other countries, Paris is Paris and  you may love it. Then some cities have major pollution, if you work by the sea do you think you would like the city smog?

You have to think about these things. Living space, working space, playing space, and I’m not talking about Mars bars either. You have to think before you leap or you’ll float off into outer space.

Read the job adverts clearly, google earth the address. Spacious open plan offices, with great views. A warm environment with a buzz. This really means there is a balcony that overlooks a carpark. The fire station is next door and there is a night club on the other side of the building. The building used to be a transport café just before the motorway, hence all the car parking, for trucks. 

It’s like when you look for houses, you MUST look at Google earth before you book any viewing, just in case there is a prison next door. Birmingham Prison used to be called Winson  Green Jail, so if it said Winson Green you knew you were near a jail. Which might be ok if you wanted to become a Prison Officer.

People Believe What they Want to Believe, this is even more so if they are running away from a job or people. The grass is always greener somewhere else. So you need to do a 360 degrees appraisal of the new job. And be honest can you really do the job? I know one person who thought he was the bees knees but had to resign within a week, as he was not up to the job. On paper the person was great, but in reality they were not up to the task.

If I was able to apply for jobs I’d have to be realistic. Could I carry heavy boxes of paper all day? NO. Could I run around a very hot print room all day? NO. Could I stand all day on marble for 12 hours and walk 5 miles every single day. NO. Those are just some of the jobs I did in the past. Now I’m lucky to be a Housewife or Hausfrau and look after the kids while my wife goes to work.  It gives me time to Write, but honestly I don’t have the Stamina for anything else, it’s not fun being weak compared to your former self. I could be a Gigolo but I’ve had no offers.

Getting back to you, can you handle all the work, the Job Spec says 10, but in fact 20 tasks are required. If you work in a hotel, expect to do everything, Roger counted up all the stuff I did and there were at least 10 different things. If you like to be busy and exhausted, then go work in a hotel, but if you want just to do one thing, be a machine minder. You have to have a job that suits your personality. For Me hotel work was the thing. Then years later Esol English teacher was perfect for me. It’s all about talking after all, and with a Writer’s mind it was fun and I enjoyed it. If you like Maths, and talking then be a Teacher because the Government in UK helps with your training and pays more for Maths skills. Obviously don’t be a Teacher if you hate kids. But it’s an idea for you.

So do a Reality check before you apply for those jobs. Will you miss your friends and your home comforts. Remember if you move to the big city you have to pay perhaps double for your accommodation, so your big wage soon disappears. Same goes for petrol costs and food costs. It soon mounts up, so you think 40 is great, double 20. In fact 40 can equal 20. So what’s the point ? 

Why do you want that job? If you are running away from that girl you got pregnant, maybe that’s a reason.  If you are ashamed you did a Bridget Jones and all you want to do is run away, then perhaps that’s another reason. The real reason for doing anything is Love. Because you Love the Job, not the Money. I was lucky in some of my jobs because the people are great, and the pay way good. In other jobs the pay was dire, but I had fun, and it was all I could get anyway. 

Remember to keep those job skills up to date, especially nowadays. I confess I am a dinosaur on the IT front, I was a computer operator 40 years ago this year, on DEC PDP 1170s you can google a picture. If I had a computer brain I could have become a programmer like Chris or an Engineer like Pad or Stu. I don’t know where the other 10 guys ended up. I do know that I am happy enough when my pains stay away because I am doing what I enjoy, I am the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham, the one in England. Even if I am a bad housewife and not a Gigalo.

  

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