Heaven’s
Devils ©
By
Michael Casey
Rodrigo
was a bad man, a very bad man. He had lied and cheated and killed his way all
over Central America, but he was good at his job. He was a killer for the
cartels. Obviously he was going straight to Hell, the hottest part of Hell
itself, but he neither cared nor believed. He was BAD with a Capital B, Michael
Jackson could sing and dance and prance as much as he wanted but compared to
Rodrigo, he was just DEAD with a capital D. Jackson was not Bad, he was Sad
with a silly voice and bad dance moves, and he was DEAD. Rodrigo was the MAN
and his moves left a trail of Death all over Central America.
Rodrigo
had no friends, but he did have one cousin, Miguel was his name, and he too was
a bad man, a very bad man, who like Rodrigo lied and cheated and killed his way
all over Central America. They used to send postcards to each other, with
cartoons written on the back showing how many and how they had killed their
latest victims. The postmen just assumed it was children scrawling things. But
to the FBI it was evidence.
Rodrigo
and Miguel were tasked to kill a priest who condemned the drugs trade from the
pulpit. So obviously they sat at the back and enjoyed the sermon, they would
slit his throat after the Mass and steal the offerings too on the way out. Only
Fr. Camillo had other ideas, he was not stupid he knew when death was calling
him, and today after Sunday Mass was the day. But the thing about Death is that
it is not the Master, there is only one Master, and today the Holy Ghost was in
town. Now the Holy Ghost was faster and quicker than any assassin, so Rodrigo
and Miguel had better watch their backs.
Now
who or what is the Holy Ghost? Well the Holy Ghost was a retired CIA assassin,
he knew Fr. Camillo from high school, and every day Fr. Camillo had prayed for
his dark and evil soul. If the thief on the cross could be spared and Saul
could become Paul, then the Holy Ghost could be saved too. And so he was, the
Holy Ghost became plain old Sancho, he was Fr. Camillo’s invisible bodyguard.
Any time the cartels sent a hit man to kill Fr. Camillo the hit man disappeared
off the face of the earth. In actual fact, Sancho cut their ear off and posted
it back to the cartel. As for the hit men, they just retired to Miami, thanking
God they were still alive, though slightly hard of hearing. They grew their
hair and enjoyed all their ill -gotten gains.
Rodrigo
and Miguel were about to strike, when Sancho hit them first. They awoke to find
themselves tied up chickens ready to go
in the oven. Fr. Camillo blessed them with Holy Water, Sancho who had been drinking relieved himself on them.
They were about to swear, but Sancho hit them with two Bibles across the face.
There will be no more swearing ever, Repent or Die, with that Fr. Camillo threw
a bucket of Holy Water over each of them. Now the Holy Spirit the real Holy
Spirit works in most strange ways, Rodrigo and Miguel had come to kill, but now
they would become savers.
They
were shackled and told to read the Bible, every day Sancho fed them and Fr.
Camillo blessed them, the Holy Spirit did his work too. That is the real Holy
Spirit and the Sancho the retired assassin. Sleep deprived and forced to
change, this was no road to Damascus, this was Central America. How many months
it took I do not know, but I do know, light began to shine in their hearts, a
tiny tiny light, but Fr. Camillo could feel it. The Holy Spirit was at work. Sancho
had to go away with his donkey Panza for supplies, so with a wave and reminding
the prisoners that there would be a 1000 question Bible test when he returned
he disappeared like a Ghost, a Holy Ghost maybe.
Now
an ill wind blows no good, and fools rush in where angels fear to tread. The cartels
had not received any ears lately so they dispatched an entire squad to kill Fr.
Camillo. Would they manage to finally kill Fr. Camillo? In the jungle whistles
broke through the animal sounds. To Rodrigo and Miguel it was obvious what was
about to happen, they smiled. The old priest would get his comeuppance. But as
they read their Bibles, the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit fell upon them.
The Padre Pio prayer card which had acted as bookmark, fell from their Bibles,
Padre Pio’s face gave them a hard stare. As Mrs Casey would say, don’t give me
any cheek or I’ll slap you in the puss with the mop bucket. They had had enough of murder, it was now time
to save. This was their Damascus moment.
So
like any good assassins, Roderigo and Miguel broke free from their shackles and
slipped away.
The
assassination squad numbered 10, but 10 divided by 2 is 5, and 5 to 1 were easy
odds as far as they were concerned. As Fr. Camillo prayed they took action,
then 10 became 9, became 8, became 7, became 6 and then Panza the donkey came
to the rescue. Panza distracted the assassination squad while Miguel and
Rodrigo with the returned Sancho finished off the 10. All of whom were tied up
like chickens ready for the oven.
Don’t
think you’ll not having your Bible test, after supper will be you final test.
They spun round it was Fr.Camillo who had finished praying. They followed him into the jungle, there on
the ground was another 10 men, how come to assassinate him. They were the advance
party, I sorted them out myself, they were such amateurs. So they tied those ten
up and dragged them to join the others. 20 men sent to kill just one priest.
Roderigo and Miguel bowed their heads, you love God so much and the send so
many killers to get you.
Fr.Camillo
blessed them and they all had supper, afterwards Sancho gave them their 1000
question Bible test. So what happens now? Well said Fr. Camillo, Sancho has
some friends in the CIA they could use men like you. But we aren’t killers any
more, you know I think we could become Christians, real Christian, do you think
your boss would accept people like us. Of course he can, but listen to Sancho.
So Sancho explained the CIA or the friends of friends of the CIA needed bodyguards, not close
protection ones, but invisible bodyguards to protect special people from a
distance, and maybe sometimes to intervene. They would become Ghosts, Holy
Ghosts if you like.
Roderigo
and Miguel took all of 2 seconds to say yes. But don’t you need more than 2
sometimes? Well yes explained Sancho, after I cut off all those ears and
previous assassins are official dead I stay in touch with the “dead” so to
speak, and they do me favours occasionally. What about these 20, they are the
worst of the worst. Well you could help us re-educate them. So after they had
cut both ears off all 20 assassins, they chained them up and Bible school
began. Fr. Camillo was left alone after that the cartels gave up on him, the
Sicorro was blowing after all.
Now
where did Roderigo and Miguel go? Well if you remember Mrs Murphy likes to
visits lots and lots of churches and some are not in nice places. And her
Jewish friend Esther has a zillionaire son who makes satellites for CIA etc. Well
a satellite is all fine and dandy but Esther worries about her friends, her
close friends. So it makes Esther sleep easier knowing that the Holy Ghost
Protection Society is only a heartbeat away.
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