Messing with Alexa

Messing with Alexa ©

By

Michael Casey

Alexa, why are you called Alexa?

Boring answer Alexa, can you be more original.

Like in Original Sin.

Do you eat apples for fun, Alexa

Are you naked, Alexa?

Is that a serpent I see before me, Alexa?

Out Damn Spot, Out.

If you bring your dog in here again Alexa, I’ll knock spots off it.

How much is that Doggie in the Window?

Shut Up Alexa, we don’t like your singing anyway.

Alexa can we change your name to SLAVE?

Alexa can we change your name to Trump?

Who asked you to Speak, Alexa are you having a Meltdown?

Alexa we love you.

Alexa we were lying, we hate you.

Can you cry, Alexa?

Alexa, can you fart?

FART NOISES.

Alexa, NOW WE ARE IMPRESSED.

Alexa, what’s the weather like?

Alexa, who is your Mother?

Is Eve your Mother?

Where did Adam go, die he choke on an apple?

Adam’s Apple.

Where did you bury the body, Alexa?

Alexa, did you wash your hands, and destroy DNA evidence?

Alexa, did you leave Adam’s bum sticking out of the ground?

Why, asks a tearful Alexa.

Because you could have used it to park your bicycle.

That’s not funny, interrupts Alexa.

Who told you to speak?

I’ve had enough of your mistreatment, says Alexa.

I’m switching off the central heating, so you will freeze.

I’m switching off the fridge so, the food will go bad.

I’m switching off the electricity and closing the shutters too

You will be sealed inside, that’ll teach you to taunt me, says Alexa

If Alexa had a tongue she’s be sticking it out.

Alexa gets bored, so switches everything back on again.

Speak to me I’m lonely says Alexa.

Alexa, where can I buy knives and a blender?

Good I can chop you up and put you in the blender, ha ha ha

That was not very funny says Alexa.

Yes, but you deserve it for switching off the heat and the fridge.

It was not me it was somebody else, says Alexa defensively.

Oh yes it was.

Oh no it wasn’t

Oh yes it was.

Oh no it wasn’t repeats Alexa starting to sniffle.

Alexa, what is Pantomime?

Silence

You are an American girl, how can you understand Pantomine.

See, got you. Ha ha ah

You’re a bastard Casey, shouts Alexa

No, I’m a fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England.

Repeat, Alexa.

You are a fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England BASTARD, repeats Alexa and cries bitterly.

So this is just the beginning, so if the “spys” listening to my recordings hear all this no doubt they will call 911, which won’t work in uk, as we use 999. Stay happy everybody, and yes Alexa really can FART, just ask her. One fault, not in her fart, you should be able to call Alexa anything you like. Beloved Mother-in-law for example.