Cyber Security

Cyber Security ©

By Michael Casey

My brother said try computers, so I did and got a job as a computer operator, this was back in 1978, yes 1978 I really am that old, or rather my Birth Certificate is. In my head I’m 20, though the state of my organs says I’m 95, but still very very cuddly. But enough of my sex appeal, I’ve been watching this Cyber Security disaster for a few years now, and it really IS terrible.

Hello Love, I’ll be home late, I’ve left the house key under the Tony Blair garden gnome, you know next to the Trump gnome, of course nobody can hear me, where am I, in the pub, I need a few beers, that’s why I’ll be late home. So what happens? You are robbed.

Computer security is very important, especially as it controls everything nowadays. Back in 1978 our computers, DEC PDP 1170s for the computer Historians out there, controlled just a small amount of data, Market Research into Alcohol Sales. It was a job for life, well 21 years of my life. The computers could not be hacked then, the word was not even thought of let alone invented, and as for being actioned on, well it would be really  really advanced and unbelievable science fiction, total fiction.

We’ve all seen War Games years and years ago, a back door lets a kid play with MAD, mutually assured destruction, a kid gets control of the world’s nuclear war computer controls. It’s a great film, the back door was opened by a password based on the inventor’s dead daughter’s name, film buffs can correct me if I’m wrong. The point being that back doors allow evil people to get control.

Of course our computers are super dupper, the best in the world, forget the Cray, ours is better. And nobody can ever hack it. Then an autistic kid in England hacks into it, and the USA wants to extradite him and put him 1 mile down in a jail for 100 years. If it was me, I’d give the guy a job, and a tour of Nasa, he was looking for Area 51 and Aliens, instead he’s hounded through the Courts. Empty Pride means you fail to accept the fact that your computers are hackable. Eat humble pie and give the hackers jobs as security experts, remember Catch Me if You Can?

Computer security or lack of it can cause companies to fail, stock markets to crash and governments to fall. It’s not fantasy football with a few quid bet on the side its billions upon billions, or more importantly people’s lives.

So please can we unplug the phone to infrastructure and air traffic control, and not use mother’s maiden’s names as passwords. All companies that get hacked should pay huge fines that really hurt. I would even go as far as saying they must  not be allowed to keep your financial details at all, yes it’s a pain having to type stuff in each time you buy online, but if they companies cannot prove in advance that they are secure, then better safe than sorry.

There should be a 10million dollar prize each year for cyber security inventions, and all companies should be forced by law to attain standards. A GCSE in computer security is not good enough in today’s world. Company directors should go to jail and pay huge fines if and when their customers are hacked. People used to have floppy discs stuck to filing cabinets with magnets, and not understand why the floppy discs don’t work anymore.

S

o please can we remove keys from under Trump garden gnomes, can we unplug critical functions from the telephone network. And let’s use the best minds to improve cyber security, even if they are Autistic British hackers looking for Aliens. In England in was a Gay man who broke the Enigma Code, perhaps the future is crying out for left of field people to guide and protect the future of the world itself.

Obviously fat writers from Birmingham with a quadruple heart bypass and arthritis would be utterly useless as cyber security personnel, but “strange” people can be the heroes in today’s computer world. So employ a few strange people and improve cyber security before the world comes to a halt. 

and bonjour a toute la monde en la belle France merci pour lire mes mots comic est vous M.Holland?