Wednesday, 6 March 2019

The New Cat in Totoro



The New Cat in Totoro ©
By
Michael Casey

So we have finally moved house, Totoro came with us, she was scared for a day, just one day, she is a Ninja cat after all with a Japanese name, though Chinese and English and the sound of plastic opening are the sounds she responds to. Then was off out inspecting her Land, she must has Kerry blood in her somewhere, this Writer’s family are Kerry people after all. As they say there is so much land in Kerry they pile it up, and now we live much higher up the hill, and near the woods, whatever 40 hectares are, Councils forget we the people still  think in Pounds Shillings and Pence not Metric.

So Totoro investigated the Land, her land. She also knows the sounds of keys jangling, so just jangle the keys and soon you’ll hear the sounds of high fences rattling and she storms home. Otherwise she has a lot more places to go and people to steal affection from, she makes the cat  from Shrek look like a tramp, a real tramp, she is the real deal, and multilingual too. MIAOOOW. A quick shout of Totoro Le Le also brings her home. Then she maiows the words MILK, she’s not stupid, she studied CATulus at night school, what do you think the sounds were every night? Cat on a hot tin roof?

Totoro did come home with a scratched nose one day, maybe putting the local foxes in their place. A fox is a very long thing, I saw one here jump over the garden fence into the next garden at 3am. I did actually see 3 foxes in our old garden all together one night. As you know dustbins are foxes takeaways, so Lets Eat or Just Eat, is when they go and raid the local dustbins. Totoro is fast asleep by then at the foot of my daughter’s bed like a hot water bottle.

Our old street was very busy, the new one is much quieter, so this means Totoro will go out the front door and sit on the garden wall watching the world go by, so much more choice nowadays. Then like a monument coming to life she’ll sprint up the street looking for more love and devotion. It is working as she has got fatter.
If you look out the back gardens a few of the gardens have bouncy contraptions for their kids, so Totoro watches her figure by doing a few backward flips on these trampolines. I suppose it is entertainment for her, testing children’s trampolines. If she gets caught out in the rain she can shelter under them as well. Though she now knows where every central heating air vent is, so she can blow dry her fur by sitting next to the air vents either high on the fence or on neighbouring kitchen roofs. That explains why she is so fluffy, fluffy but with the paw speed of Ali, so be nice to her.

She always rolls over each time you let her in the back door, and she always shows me her six nipples too if you gently blow in her direction. And she miaows too, she never used to miaow at the old house, I suppose 4 is equal to teenager in cat years. But at least she’ll never bring Toms home or get pregnant. We just keep her off the furniture, so she stands guard at the top of the stairs, an additional burglar alarm. A cats life is a nice life, especially if your name is Totoro.
  






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brown nosing never required

Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 167 countries so far https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micha...