Stormy and Trump and my Mattress is gone

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

Short stories from Birmingham PODAST TOO https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR

Thursday, 6 April 2023

Stormy and Trump and my Mattress is gone

Stormy and Trump and my Mattress is gone

as you know I got a new mattress

I sleep my on right side because of my hernia in the middle of my chest

post quadruple heart bypass

before I was like a kebab rotating

so if 120 kilos in on the side

it is more pressure than two 60 kilo women on their back

surface area and all that

so 4 times the pressure maybe

hence new mattress

anyways as I always say I sleep with Taylor Swift and Will Young

Tinnitus and Music or I'd never sleep at all

So picture it in your imagination

They'll be happy tonight

New mattress and all that

In fact I have 2 mattresses on top of each other

As my original very expensive Dormeo

Broke and they refused to replace it

So I got a new one and threw Dormeo in the dustbin

the replacement was from a posh shop that only sells quality

I had said this would be the bed I'd die in

But it was too hard

So I got a mattress in a box

these expand when you piece the bag

That one has been on the other one for a few years

But now is tired, so would you be if 120k was sideways on you

So I manhandled and screamed and cursed and got it out the house

I was going to get rid of the hard one too, but I'd need 2 strong men to do it

I could have really hurt myself,  remember hernia in the middle of my chest

So that one is outside for a day or two

I knew somebody would take it

150 quid just for a foam one like that

So, so Tuesday I dragged the new mattress on to  my bed

Pulled the ripcord, well almost

unrolled and pierced

Then the vacuum packed mattress expanded like a life jacket in seconds

And yes it is so comfortable and was in a Sale 1/3 off

and review saids better than a 600 quid fancy one

Let it breath it said  on the wrapper

You don't get the model and the 2 dogs in the photo

Anyway tonight

Just before Stormy Daniels was on TV

Piers Morgan interview on Talk TV

Owned by Murdoch I believe

I looked outside

And there are woods up the road and a Golf course too

The mattress from my bed was missing in action

Could it be Trump and Stormy were having a final swing

The Final Cut of the 19th Hole  by Michael Casey is one of my books after all

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0847S94PW/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1