mainly comic stories from Birmingham read in 162 countries so far
PODAST TOO https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR AND https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VFNwQSaGBYgNgZdintU4ZKeAd73ijM4O?usp=sharing
Well it had to happen, Donald had swept in and offered Cake for Everybody, then he disappeared and I got no cake. Let them Eat Cake, was what that French Lady said, and look what happened to her. It was not TOP SECRET it was all over tv, after Donald was counted out 37 times, which is a bit like that French film from the 60s. Film buffs go check it out.
So, I said to Rodger who knew all about swings, you should challenge him. Rodger declined gracefully, he had to wash the CPNEC van after all. Then I thought you know what I’ll challenge the Old Fraud myself, though all I know is that golfers have dimples on their balls. I was going to ring a lady and ask does Donald have dimples on his, only she said she’d signed a non-disclosure agreement.
Donald replied in crayon, a note pushed through my letter box, wrapped in a red baseball hat, used, it had strands on his hair in it. I was going to have it DNA tested, my friend Carol works down the Path Lab. When Carol is not testing my Pee for Ckd he has a side-line of Paternity testing.
I send an email to the Chinese email address inside Donald’s baseball cap, and they would pass on my reply. Yes, Donald would battle my stand-in as I cannot get around a lot what with all my illnesses. Little did he know, who would swing for me, only my man from the Pharmacy. Mr Pharma Man himself.
Donald sent a plane to pick up my man, and when he arrived Donald Trump mocked him openly. Just wait till wants something for the weekend, no Pharmacy in the whole of the UK would welcome him.
Donald teed off, Pharma Man waited then with one almighty stroke a Hole in One. Then while Donald had a few strokes to finish the first hole, Pharmacy Man was on the phone discussing piles and how to threat them, Donald being so close gave Pharmacy Man a few ideas on Pile Drivers.
Donald smiled, beginner’s luck, I built this course. Pharmacy Man, put his phone back again, as Donald hit the ball with all his might, it actually landed on the green. Though Donald fell over all red faced, and the Secret Service had to give him Oxygen. Pharmacy Man moon walked backwards, and spun around in slow motion, and hit a 2nd Hole in One. Then took his phone out to discuss laxatives, as Donald got up and took four more stokes to get in it the hole.
Donald was livid by now, just who are you. I’m the Pharmacy Man said the Pharmacy Man showing Donald a picture of himself and his Lady Wife standing behind the counter of his Corner Pharmacy shop opposite the Pub and the Building Society and by the Electrical store. The Pharmacy man smiled, he may be small in stature but as far as Pharmacy was concerned he knew it all. His Golf was not too bad either as he had played every golf course in the whole of Ireland and a good few in England. 30 years plus experience, of Pharmacy and swinging his golf club.
Donald strode to the 3rd tee, the Pharmacy man reaching into his golf bag and brought out a flask of tea, Indian of course. Plus, a sandwich, all the time consulting on the phone had made him peckish. Donald gripped his club and swung it, missed the ball and brought up a clump of earth. The Pharmacy Man smiled knowingly, I can recommend Eye Drops, that might help you. Donald took 7 shots to get it in the hole, and yes the Pharmacy Man did it in one, another Hole in One.
At the fourth Donald was red faced and livid, just tell me, who the&&&& are you really? I’m the Pharmacy Man, replied the Pharmacy man smiling with a twinkle in his eye. The Pharmacy man was on his phone again, organising a Charity Event, and would Donald like to donate a set of clubs, as clearly he was not having any luck with those one. Donald swung, and fell over backwards into a bunker, 8 shots for that hole. The Pharmacy man, another hole in one.
At the 5th Donald offered 1000dollars if the Pharmacy Man would take two shots, but the Pharmacy Man replied, INTEGRITY cannot be bought, as he moon walked backwards and hit a 5th Hole in One. Donald screamed YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS
And attacked the ball, he got it in two. So at least his shots were better, though the Pharmacy man did say, there’s a Lady I know who could help you with your Anger Management, she’s 82 but she knows everything about Calming. Donald was livid and screamed, the Secret Service had to restrain him and give him Oxygen.
At the 6th there were bunkers everywhere, Secret Service hiding in them too. Pharmacy Man said “looks tricky” as he put his reading glasses on. Trump skipped around the tee he was so happy, perhaps maybe Pharmacy Man would not hole it in one. So, Trump swung first and landed in a bunker, his ball bouncing off a Secret Service Man’s head. But Trump did not care, he had a feeling the Pharmacy Man would be Human. Just one moment, I have to take this call. It was his grandchild, he had to ask how was Primary School, then after pulling a face on his phone. The Pharmacy Man swung for it, wriggling like a worm as he swung. Of course, another Hole in One. Trump’s face turned all the colours of the Rainbow, that reminds me Gay Pride is coming to Birmingham remarked the Pharmacy Man, the Lord Mayor is Gay, Andy Street, and he’ll be dancing in the street too, maybe you should pay a Visit.
The Secret Service formed a huddle around Trump, like an American Football play. The 7th was a long fairway, with trees at every side, Trump had to decide, should he use a big driver or what, he had plenty of drivers, a failed President always had plenty. So, Trump plumped himself up to his full height and swung, the Secret Service lined up behind to catch him. I should have worn my high heels said the Pharmacy Man, as he swung. It was going to be a Hole in One, but a squirrel grabbed his ball, bit it and dropped it in the Hole. Trump was Triumphant, Like 4th of July, he wanted to kiss the Secret Service, and none are Ladies.
See, no Hole in One. Actually, Under the Rules of Golf, Page 467, paragraph 1B. It is a valid shot. Trump was apoplectic, He demanded somebody look it up. But calmly the Pharmacy Man explained. Chapter and Verse. How can you know it, how can you know it, Trump screamed. I’m a Pharmacy Man explained the Pharmacy Man, How many books do you think I’ve read just to get Qualified? A book on Golf was lying around on at our Honeymoon Hotel years ago. And my Wife suggested I get out in the Fresh Air, all the time spent behind the counter of a Pharmacy would make me a Dull Man. So that’s why I took up Golf in the first place. Something Trivial to take my mind off the serious stuff, PHARMACY.
But as I’m a Gentleman, I’ll take the shot again. Could you do it with your Eyes Closed Shut asked Trump sarcastically. So, Pharmacy Man closed his eyes, and took a shot again. Another Hole in one. My wife has taught me so much, and as she always says Eyes Closed Shut it always better, once you know the lay of the land. You should listen to your Wife, Donald.
8th hole coming up, a dog leg, 2 shots if you were a PGA champion. No way on God’s little green earth would Pharmacy Man get a hole in one. Trump was crying now, his fake tan being washed away, but at least Pharmacy Man would never get a hole in one. Can we walk from tee to the green so I can picture it in my head, asked the Pharmacy Man. So, they walked to the green and back, as Pharmacy man asked his wife what were they having for tea, and to save some for him, he’d have it cold when he finally got home. Putting his phone away, Pharmacy stood well back, as if he was playing cricket, and then he took a run at the ball and swung his club. The ball went high into the sky, like a rocket from Kim in North Korea, a seagull swerved to avoid being hit. The ball came down and rolled along the green and stopped at the lip of the hole, without falling in. Trump got a message from Secret Service stationed there, Trump cried. His makeup in tatters. But then a second later the ball dropped in. The Secret Service had to restrain Trump yet again.
Who in God’s Name are you? I’m just a Pharmacy Man, but I’m a very lucky man, as I have such a great Lady. So long as she can hear my voice she’s happy. Ok, 9th Hole before we start the return 9 holes to the Club House. I’ll give you a million dollars cash, if you just drop a shot, begged Trump. One million dollars, that’s what Elizabeth Taylor said, but really she did not want the part, remarked Pharmacy Man.
As Pharmacy Man walked to the 9th tee, he rung his wife yet again. These free minutes are so good on our mobile plan, you are so clever my darling wife, and the Pharmacy Man blew a kiss down the phone. Trump swung for the Pharmacy Man, and it took all the Secret Service to restrain him. But calmly the Pharmacy Man winked at Trump and hit another hole in one. You know this course is a little boring to me, but it does match you perfectly Mr Trump.
9 holes in one, is that not proof enough for you, you LOST you LOST you LOST. In 2020 Election, what kind of substances are you taking? Maybe you should change your Pharmacist, I could squeeze you on my list, I assume you have a decent doctor already.
The Secret Service carried a Rabid Trump away, so the Pharmacy Man took a free helicopter back, he was home in time for tea after all. Trump could shove his dimpled balls up his backside 3 times a day with water.
p.s Super Tuesday is not a girl….
pps. somebody said I won fancy Marriot pillows in an email, plus a set of clubs
the pillows would be nice, I’d donate the clubs to the real pharmacy man
and what has TRUMP done for USA. these past 4 years
NOTHING just lie and moan about HIMSELF
has he created any jobs?
VOTE accordingly on Nov 5th, Bonfire Night over here in UK
I've updated this 15th Sept 2024 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 3,000,000 Words worth over 36years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio.
Neither candidate is ahead by even a single point in the New York Times’s polling average of five critical battleground states – Pennsylvania, Michigan, Nevada, Wisconsin and North Carolina.
How is this possible? Even if polls were systematically off and Harris were ahead of Trump by, say, 5%, I’d still be appalled that so many Americans in swing states were supporting Trump.
I’ve spent most of my life fighting bullies, from the grade-school bullies who teased and threatened and occasionally pummeled me, to the white supremacists of the 1960s who murdered my friend Mickey Schwerner when he was trying to register Black voters in Mississippi.
I’ve protested Lyndon Johnson’s Vietnam war and worked to get Richard Nixon – whose henchmen broke into the Watergate complex and who then tried to cover up his illegal acts – impeached.
I watched Ronald Reagan bully Americans into accepting the cruel hoax of “trickle-down” economics and legitimize corporate bashing of labor unions.
I witnessed George W Bush insist on invading Iraq based on a lie that Iraq contained “weapons of mass destruction”, invading Afghanistan because it contained terrorists, and establishing a gulag of torture chambers across the world.
When I was US secretary of labor, I fought Republican bullies who wanted to make it easier for CEOs and their major investors to become richer by shafting their workers. Later, I fought Wall Street bullies who gambled away other people’s money and then, when their bets turned bad, got bailed out by taxpayers.
But in all my years, I have never come across a bully more squalid than Donald Trump.
He is the bully of all bullies. He emits dangerous lies like most people breathe.
He has demeaned and degraded our system of self-government, attempted a coup against the United States, divided Americans with venomous bigotry, and rewarded his rich backers with tax cuts and regulatory rollbacks.
Trump created a supreme court that took away women’s rights over their own bodies and immunized presidents from criminal liability.
In recent weeks, he has become even more untethered from reality, more unhinged, even less coherent.
He says that if he gets back in power he will wreak vengeance on his political opponents – including many loyal Americans who have stood up to him – calling them the “enemy within” and openly threatening to use the US military against them.
He says he wants to cleanse America of “scum” and “vermin”, including refugees, immigrants, and Democratic officials like Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi.
He is threatening to strip television networks of their ability to broadcast news because of coverage he doesn’t like.
On Sunday, he said he had subpoenaed the records of CBS, claiming that the network’s edit of Harris’s recent appearance on 60 Minutes was misleading.
He refuses to be bound by the results of the upcoming election. This means America will likely suffer weeks or months of litigation following election day, perhaps even accompanied by violence.
I felt hopeful in late July, when Joe Biden selflessly bowed out of the election and passed the baton to his vice-president, Kamala Harris.
And even more hopeful as Harris has proven herself a tough, exuberant, powerful campaigner and force for positive change. Her debate performance against Trump was the best I’ve ever seen.
But at this moment, I’m frankly worried. How can so many Americans be blind to who Trump is and what he intends to do?
I don’t believe it’s all due to misogyny and racism. Surely, gender and race continue to play a large part in our politics, but they alone cannot explain what is happening.
Nor do I think it’s because of our collective amnesia about the chaos Trump wrought during his presidency. Most of us recall how horrific it was, including a pandemic that for months he refused to acknowledge or act on.
Part of the reason may be that we want to normalize our politics and pretend that this election is like any other, even in the face of all the evidence to the contrary.
To accept the reality of who Trump is and what he aims to do is simply too frightening.
Part of it also may be that many Americans would prefer blowing up the system as a whole – destroying democracy and our institutions of self-government – than settle for gradual change because they feel the system is hopelessly rigged against them.
Beyond these possible explanations lie specific people who are also responsible for bringing us to the brink of this disaster.
High on my list is Rupert Murdoch– whose Fox News, New York Post and editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal have amplified Trump’s lies, spreading them repeatedly to tens of millions of Americans.
There’s also Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, whose X platform, formerly known as Twitter, has become a font of disinformation, incendiary conspiracy theories, pro-Trump garbage and hateful lies about Harris.
Musk continues to claim, for example, that Democrats are flying huge numbers of undocumented immigrants into swing states to vote illegally. One such post got 34m views.
Musk’s pro-Trump Super Pac has hired an estimated 400 staffers in the seven key battleground states and a platoon of Republican party operatives.
The New York Times reports that Trump and Musk are speaking directly multiple times a week. That’s a likely violation of campaign finance laws barring coordination between candidates and Super Pacs.
Trump’s other major financial backersinclude a cavalcade of billionaires – notably Miriam Adelson (wife of deceased casino magnate Sheldon Adelson), Liz and Dick Uihlein (owners of packaging-materials company Uline), and Timothy Mellon (scion of the Gilded Age baron Andrew Mellon).
Another contributing reason Trump is running neck-and-neck with Harris is the silence of respected business leaders.
Heading the list is Jamie Dimon, CEO and chair of JPMorgan Chase, the nation’s largest bank, who calls himself “a patriot before I’m the CEO of JPMorgan” and who regularly speaks out about the injustices and inequalities of contemporary America.
A lifelong Democrat, Dimon is considered the “spokesman” of American business.
Yet when it comes to denouncing the biggest threat to American democracy since the civil war, Dimon’s silence has been deafening.
Who else is responsible? I wouldn’t be surprised if Vladimir Putin were again seeding the election with hackers and bots favoring Trump, as Putin did in 2016.
At this juncture – two weeks from election day, with the race virtually tied in battleground states – none of us who cares about the future of this country can any longer afford to be a mere spectator.
This is an all-hands-on-deck moment. A five-alarm fire. A category 5 hurricane.
Do whatever you can.
Robert Reich, a former US secretary of labor, is a professor of public policy at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of Saving Capitalism: For the Many, Not the Few and The Common Good. His newest book, The System: Who Rigged It, How We Fix It, is out now. He is a Guardian US columnist. His newsletter is at robertreich.substack.com
