AS I walk out this mid-summer morning

As I Walk Out This Mid-Summer Morning ©

By

Michael Casey

I was walking up the road this morning, looking left and right and up and down and all around. Just in case the North Korean hit man is after me, but I am protected by a cloak of stupidity, so I’m not afraid. I try and be observant as I walk about, you never know what you might see, and an idea might present itself. The observant amongst you will have spotted a Laurie Lee homage in my title, do read his book, remembering from school it was a great read, as was his Cider with Rosie, but don’t get drunk till after you finished reading.

I see a sight and a seed appears in my mind, all I need is a mustard seed and then I have 1000 words, as I’ve no doubt told you before. Today we have the corner shop fruit stall outside the Halal butchers, I am tempted to give the stall-holder a spare pair of my sunglasses as he is always in the sun. My friend the lolly pop man has disappeared, we both had had bypasses, but now the road is fixed and a new zebra crossing is installed he has been bypassed, by a green icon, and not the Jolly Green Man from sweetcorn. As my dad said 30 years ago Automation Will Ruin the World, in this  case a lolly pop man replaced by a flashing green man.

They were painting the Christian Cafe, perhaps adding lions all around, it turned out they had installed double glazing upstairs, though they did have a scaffolding tower. In my imagination it was a circus performance or the high diving board, maybe I should not watch Madagascar 3 too many times, but it is great. The reality was a local estate agent watching proceedings, maybe there is an upper room above the Christian Cafe, who knows what happens there.

Further up the road my pharmacist was closed, he has Wednesday afternoons off, he does work Saturday after all. He is a great pharmacist and a very good golfer. Maybe one day he’d have a round with Trump. I continued up the road try not to be killed as I cross on suicide corner, its very dangerous there, there used to be a refuge for pedestrians, now there is not.

Though the local undertaker is conveniently situated, and the church too. We have 6 churches I believe, even a talk to the dead church as well, we even get the mad people church people knocking on our doors too. They don’t knock on my door any more, perhaps it was something I said or was it something in the way I moved, or was it the Websters in my hand. It’ a dictionary for all you USA readers out there. The pen, the word IS mightier than a sword after all. So I could have frightened them off by my words, or maybe the way I look.

Further up the street we have acupuncture sessions advertised on one of the church railings, pain and praise the lord perhaps. I know a lot about pain, but I did have acupuncture 5 years ago and it worked. But I I stand too close to my Shanghai wife she may prick me with her chopsticks, which would be equally as good.

I pass the furniture shop and see the SALE, why do furniture shops always have sales, and what is the real price of anything in a store. I think furniture stores are a cross between Rubic’s Cubes and Random Number Theory. If your child gets a 9 in tomorrow’s results then only she can explain it, because I cannot. Furniture costs whatever the inside leg measurement of the salesman multiplied by his shoe size is, plus his wife’s age and the size of the mother in law’s behind. If you can equate that formula then you know just how much anything costs in a furniture store.

I stumble past all our fast food outlets, I just cannot believe there is a market for so much chips. England’s gift to world cuisine, chips and fries, and heart disease. The faint echo of cheering escapes the bookie shops we have, I cannot believe there is a market for so much gambling. Though looking about me, maybe gambling is the only way out. Which reminds me I must buy a 2 quid lottery ticket, the sum total of my own spasmodic gambling.

I get to the park and sit and rest and think if only, if only, if I won the lottery I’d be walking different roads and talking about different views. I’d have a dog called Camembert with a great sense of smell and I’d hide things for him to find. After my rest I return home doing my shopping along the way. Three months of fancier food is so much nicer and we’ll see tomorrow when the results arrive has it helped with my daughter’s grades. Tonight in anticipation we had sausage and chips from the local chippy, see we know how to push the boat out.

So this has been my Mid-Summer Walk, I hope you get a better picture of my life here as a Fool on a Hill, I am no Poet like Laurie Lee, but my neighbour does play the violin just like him.