Sunday, 6 August 2017

Sunday Fixes

Sunday Fixes (c)
By
Michael Casey

Sunday, today was good once my body warmed up, it took about 2 hours today. Back in 2013 I had none of these aches and pains. My wife threatens to send me to the old people's home, I say fine if I can have a Korean nurse, she laughs, dressed in her National Geographic body warmer and her bright red Korean food store apron. This is her in the home Shanghai look. When she leaves the house she looks like a model, I of course am a model too, a Sumo model, I am nearly 3 times her weight.

Today we were trying to get the printer to work again after I'd fixed the AWOL computer. You have to load, reload, delete and curse at least for an hour before you get the printer to work. Finally it did so my daughter could print her first ever CV. It was 4 pages long, I told her that 2 pages, was more than enough, print on both sides too. She may get some work experience out of it.

I don't need a CV any more,my ailments mean even if anybody liked my personality I could not do a regular job. Yes I can sit here talking to you all, but my big three ailments rule out any paid employment. Not unless any of you out here want some comic advertising written. But nobody would pay for it, they run a competition and get 1000s of ideas for nothing. Lion Bar the Bar that Roars may have been invented by one of my brothers, as a competition. Another brother named a train, The Graduate, and he got a 3 night trip to Exeter on a train plus hotel and car hire. That was over 20 years ago, and yes I went too.

So now the printer is back and my daughter can use it for her essays when she goes to 6 form college in a months time, after her work experience. Two pages is what HR people like so they can flick through it, they like stand out things. So I told my daughter to put I speak Chinese too, a Casey, an Irish person who can speak Chinese fluently. This stands out and may help her get a work placement. My brother, the train namer said he got into Downing Cambridge because of a stand out, or inverse snobbery. Others may have been to Eton, but he  had a blacksmith father and had spent a year working as a coal miner. Little things get you noticed.

I'm chilled now and am listening to REM's Automatic for the People, the tinnitus in my ear is not so bad and I am getting used to it after a week, I am a moronic man in need of repair, I am Steven Austin the 6p man, maybe I'll end up in the old people's home, I don't think I'll get the Korean nurse, I am not Benny Hill after all. Maybe I should do my CV and send it to tv...


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