Generating Power

Generating Power ©

By

Michael Casey

Well Spring has sprung here in Birmingham, and Thank God for that, its bright and my knickers are hanging on the washing line, so everything is coming up roses. The paracetamol has kicked in too, so my chest doesn’t feel like it’s been kicked by a donkey.I’ve gone down the hill for beans, I even ate a few so thrust power has driven me back home again. I’ve had a look at the newspapers and I spotted some nonsense about gas not being installed in new homes, to save the environment. So we’ll all commit suicide because we cannot afford the power bill. Which will decrease the population, and so cut global warming.

Which brings me to, how can we power ourselves in the Future. Well cheap solar cells are here already and the price has gone lower and lower. Naturally imported from China, though everywhere else produces their own versions too. I think I read somewhere about putting solar cells in our windows, so we get daylight through them and they generate power too. Why should we just have it on our Casio watches, upscale it to all our windows. I’m sure retro technology would allow a film to be attached to windows to generate power in the future.

I grew up with just a coal fire, then dangerous one bar or two bar electric fires in the bedrooms. I can remember sheet ice on the windows in bad Winters. Then in the 1970s we were forced by law to abandon our coal fire, so we got central heating. Which was glorified one bar electric fires in a panel heater design, but it did have thermostats. Loft insulation makes a difference too. No longer exposed roofs in the winter snow, loft insulation meant the heat did not escape so the roofs kept their snow cover. Well all except the drugs dealers houses, all the lamps forcing the cannabis grow meant no snow.

So how can we save energy and make energy. Perhaps we could have sensors under the carpet, so movement on the floor generates electricity. If you have toddlers, or teenagers forever running around the house, their movement would generate loads of electricity. As would highly sexed neighbours, if you could attach movement sensors to their bed, or with miniaturization to,well I don’t know, work it out for yourselves. Or for the aged or infirm every toilet flush generates power, waste really being used to generate power. Maybe I should have that installed here, CKD and all that. The final way to make power would be to use the heat from the crematorium to produce power. Though I read somewhere water cremation is being introduced into UK. Where literally we would all be flushed away.

So you can see generating power, or saving power does create problems, literally and spiritually. Are we just a commodity? Or are we much more than Pounds of Flesh, if we abuse Shakespeare. If you grew up poor, or had an imagination then you improvised and saved money as you went along. That ribbon from a box of chocolates you saved and it became shoe laces, or you used it to hold the roses against the garden fence. That plastic bag you saved in the kitchen drawer so you had one always, decades before everybody was encouraged to save and reuse. In fact a lot of the time I’m thinking I’ve been doing that for decades. And whatever happened to biodegradable, that was on Tomorrows’ World decades ago, James Burke is still alive too.

We are told kids should not have phones is school, I was throwing my students out of class for using them years ago, and no it was an ego thing either. The local school where my girls go have banned them for years too. Now we have the debate in the Press over phones. Some things as just plain old common sense. In class put the phones away and do not disrupt lessons. One good idea came from phones, they attached a fridge to the relay station and then you could store shots, medical shots not alcohol, ready for the doctors in poor countries to use. By thinking tangent-ally you save lives and money and make better use of what you have.

Perhaps we should have the Misers Award, where we get everybody to think of ways to save power and money. Not just by wearing your Winter coat inside the house to avoid using power, old people do that already. Perhaps a special tin foil that would cook your dinner by body heat alone. So you put your chicken wrap inside the tin foil then you place it in your underpants, or by your breasts. Then 4 hours later your dinner is ready, and if you attached a sensor as well your heart and blood pressure is also monitored at the same time and information is sent to your Doctor. He’ll text a message saying you are healthy and your dinner smells great too.

Speaking of dinner, my underpants are steaming and my breasts feel warm, so I’ll finish now, as I’m having dinner with my doctor, he’s bringing a bottle of wine, nicely chilled, but I don’t know exactly how he chilled it. I’ll leave that to your imagination.