Hanging out the Washing

Hanging out the Washing ©

By

Michael Casey

Well I’ve just come in from the garden and checking out the washing, I get all the glamorous jobs being a Hausfrau. If you checked my site earlier I was decrying my kids for never hanging out the washing correctly, so I posted a Panda hung by his ears on our washing line. Hanging washing is a very important job, if you don’t stay on top of it you’ll end up with no clean knickers. If you are a bloke you’ll just sniff and say they’ll do for another day or two. If you are a girl, you’ll just do without as no pantie line look is so much better for your clothes.

You learn a lot when you hang out your drawers and all your clothes. You see just how poor you are, the quality of your socks and jumpers. How many holes in the armpit or is there daylight in your pants. Or is that just me. I live with 3 girls and a female cat, so that means there is always washing to do, as a Lady cannot have smelly clothes after all. A bloke will just spray a bit of extra High Karate or whatever is cheap and cheerful and leave the same clothes on till next wash day down at his mother’s. He may have left home but only his mother can be trusted with his drawers. Or maybe he loves his old mum and its a way of keeping an eye on her.

Looking at washing on washing line is sport for pigeons who come and dump on your washing. Maybe that’s why washer dryers were invented, though if you have a cat then pigeons avoid your garden. My neighbour had no cat and was ashamed of her knickers so used to dry them in the back bedroom. She did not want any man to see what was underneath her exterior. My other neighbour was like a stripper, everything hanging on her washing line to tease, I’ll leave it to your imagination. You can learn so much from a washing line.

As women have so much clothing they use up all the clothes pegs. How could they use 100 clothes pegs, so I’m forever buying clothes pegs, they tend to break so easily. Somebody should invent super strong clothes pegs, they will become a billionaire, or maybe we could all 3D print clothes pegs.

Another gripe is why don’t people untangle their clothes before they put it in the washing. The clothes come out clean but in car crash condition. Left leg in shake it all about, in out, right leg in swing it around, do the the unfolding and untwisting, or it will never dry on the washing line. Towels should be fed into a washing machine too, otherwise they just go around and around like a basketball player with his foot nailed to the ground. They go in smelly and come out smelly, you have teenage daughters and see how many towels you get through.

They use a bath sheet, 2 square metres to dry themselves with, I use a loincloth, my own not anybody else’s. Or rather a tiny towel that I fold this way and that way to wipe my hair then body and my nooks and crannies dry. If you’ve seen a professional cleaner at work you’ll understand, but instead of cleaning office furniture, and polishing brass, I’m cleaning my, well drying my, drying my bits and pieces. You’ve heard the song no doubt, you’ve seen the bear in the Jungle Book well that’s based on me, obviously.

We used to have 2 lines for the washing plus two poles to keep the washing in place, one of the Poles was called Lech, only joking a wooden post is called a pole. I’m sure Polish people make plenty of jokes about me, STOP. I’ll cry, don’t cry for me Cracow, or was it Argentina? I have readers in both places. But back to my knickers on the washing line. In Shanghai they have bamboo poles to hang the washing from, so we knew when we got back to grandma’s when we spotted my blue flags flying in the breeze above.

We have one of those triangular contraptions in the garden now at the new house. I was amazed just how much washing it can hold. But remember to hang horizontally or landscape as much as possible then your drawers and towels dry so much quicker. If you are shy you can hide your undergarments on the inside of the hanging frame, with towels on the outside, then your modesty is preserved. Though when you wash your bondage gear, be careful to use plastic clothes pegs. If you got a splinter from a wooden clothes peg in some strange position on your bondage gear you could end up in hospital. Then you’d end up all bandaged and bound up, and you may even need a needle too.