Tinnitus killing me again

TINNITUS KILLING ME again (c)

by 

Michael Casey SOB, son of a blacksmith

I kind of missed a day,  the Tinnitus was a Tsunami of noise

and actual physical pain

all you can do is hide in bed

yes a lover would be great to keep you warm

and to hold onto

but the Tinnitus is like being on the Titanic

No steamy love scenes, in a car with misted up windows

just the terror of being engulfed

and not by a lover

just by noise

It is the worst thing in my life ever

and I've had far too. many bad things

and I still get arthritis pain daily

and hernia pain too

as well as the back end of this whooping cough

where  I nearly choke to death

Yes, welcome to my death

and it's your soul that suffers

so The Boxer does spring to mind

though I always sleep in the nude since 1986

when I got my own house

so no boxer shorts on my

just overwhelming pain

and not knowing from day to day

or even from hour to hour how bad it will be

If I pop to the shops, the happy fool

you are seeing the best bit of me

I climb back into the lions den once back at home

yes this is my life these past few years

I don't know where my resilience comes from

so allow me to dream

of 4 more sons and oriental young wife

as I choke to death and cough my guts up

all so very appealing

as I slap on the Neem

because regular pain killers

destroy my kidneys even more

on. top of my quadruple heart bypass

so flights of imagination

and writing itself

aids my sanity

even when I cannot write full stories

but writes pieces like this

because Tinnitus is in my head and in my bed

I'd rather have a young PhD instead

but you curse and judge me now

Is my imagination yours to control too

you try my life for just one day

try walking in my size ten shoes

Get somebody to randomly kick and punch you

and choke you, and scream 24/7 and invade your bed

with noise

How long do you think you would last

I won't add the subtext too

you haven't got a clue

No wonder Taylor Swift a fellow Tortured Poet 

is swearing, and saying(*())).   YOU

Are your eyes wide shut, or are they open

Your thoughts are at least 4 times faster than your words

Writing is the slowest

Then Speaking, Then Thinking

and speed it up with Tinnitus is your head

so what can you imagine 

years of. Tinnitus  like that

and mine is affected by Wind, Cold, even what I eat

and even thoughts can make it worse

I'll put a Title to all this so you can sample it in a book later

ordinarily  I wouldn't bother

but I realise this might be good stuff for you all to study

I'll finish now but I'll tell you this

I was up at 7am for toast and tea and heart meds

then  went back to bed and lost a day

Tinnitus roaring in my head

It's nice tonight to see even Mongolia

is reading me

Maybe it was the girl from Kdrama

where a Korean was lost in Mongolia

and came back home to find her family

maybe I need a girl like that in my life

But Life is Reality not Kdrama, unfortunately

But. It's always good to dream

I'm still. 20 in my head after all

though my illnesses are killing my body and soul

so my faith saves me

so judge yourselves first

and look in that mirror

and change

at least its not me or my Tinnitus in your bed or head

Food for Thought, and thank you all my readers all over the world

be a good Samaritan, you may be in the gutter like me

but you still have your dreams in your head, if not in your bed

Kang Nam Soon has superhuman strength. She went missing as a kid in Mongolia. Now as an adult, she comes to Gangnam, Seoul, South Korea to find her parents. She finally meets her mother Hwang Geum Joo.

 

https://decider.com/2023/10/09/strong-girl-nam-soon-netflix-review/