It's cold and damp Autumn is here

It’s cold and damp Autumn is here ©

By Michael Casey

Perhaps I should translate for my American readers, Fall has arrived here in Birmingham. It feels cold and damp and my washing is shrouded in mist on the washing line which covers our grass in the garden. A beautiful picture so different to those of you who  live in 90210 or even in DC, by the way Obama hurry up with the bubble wrap, you only have a month to pack.

Aches and pains beckon with the damp air, little wonder folks live till 300 years old in Hollywood thanks to the warm dry climate, whereas here in Birmingham we have to dig out our string vests, or put 3 jumpers on and an overcoat, just to stay warm, indoors that is. It’s warmer outside, if you call all your friends and flash mob the number 11 bus, this is a 20 mile circle of Birmingham, then you all stay warm like cattle in a shed.

Half way around you jump off and flash mob the Christian tea shop, it’s really really cheap and best of all it’s warm, if only you could carry the heat home in carrier bags. Once a month there is dancing, they always play ONJ’s Get Physical, 70 to 80+ year olds doing the naughty, well in their imagination anyways, everything is slow motion nowadays.

As they dance over the floor, tables and chairs pushed out of the way to allow their dancing and prancing. Imagine John Travolata and ONJ in Grease but substitute seniors with Arthritis and big woolly jumpers freshly bought from the Charity shop. Don’t mock them I’m nearly there, I have the Arthritis and Woolly jumper, all I need is the free bus pass. Though if you look into their eyes you will notice the spark the fire, just shake those embers and you’ll be amazed what you’ll find out. The top deck of buses hold many secrets and not just where Mr Jones went to have a pee….

The kids or grandkids will be home soon, you have to put on your best face, to lie to them and say you had a great day, and no the Autumn chill did not make your Arthritis worse today. You don’t put the heating on to save money so that you can buy them chocolate biscuits, you just shiver under a duvet waiting till 15 mins before the kids are due back before you switch the heating on, for them.  It’s an idea you will use for Mrs Murphy in Tears for a Butcher, she will get a space blanket as used by real life Astronauts, and get to make friends with a billionaire’s mum. But that’s another chapter in another book.

As for now I need a hot drink tea will be fine. I’m remembering when we were kids in the Winter ice was on the  inside of bedroom windows, we scrapped it off and may have even eaten it, that was 50 years ago before double glazing was invented. Everything was so innocent then.

So I’ve got my tea and Michael Jackson is singing  Remember the Time, memories  do keep us warm, we may be chilled to the bone, but our spirits are on fire with love and memories. Memory is my greatest companion, I seem to have been the Family Camcorder, I have no fancy exploding flaming phone, though it might have warmed me and my Arthritis up.

What I’m saying is I remember lots of stuff, it all goes into the “soup” and then I am able to write about it.  I sometimes cannot remember what I had for breakfast, but what happened 50 years ago I have near total recall. As I reach for my tea I hold the keyboard like an artist holding his palette, I slurp my tea and resume painting pictures with words. I’ve got my dressing gown on, the long one, have to stay warm without the central heating on. Then I’ll have a 2nd tea to keep my body warm and flush my cKd kidneys out, and then I’ll be off to Aldi to buy chocolate for the girls,  just in time to put the central heating on before they come home.