Are you ready?

Are You Ready? ©

By Michael Casey

Well I hope you are ready, all of you out there, are you really really ready? Schools Out For Summer, you can almost hear the thunder of footsteps down the main road, almost the herd hurtling home, if you forgive the alliteration, I threw that in for English teachers, they just love a bit of alliteration. As we know those who cannot write use alliteration, or write for the under eights.

Alice Cooper’s Schools Out for Summer is being played on radio stations, ever eager to be topical, they are all so topical, all so the same with the same top 50 playlist. I avoid that by listening to Magic Radio, and Magic Chilled, I’m listening to it now while I talk to you, though I do have one eye cast out the window waiting for my girls to arrive. My family are teachers too so they will be breaking up for the Summer as well. I’m sure they are listening to Alice Cooper’s Schools Out for Summer as they drive home.

Did I tell you I met Alice? He stayed at CPNEC when I worked there. Roger took him to the cinema and then picked him up again afterwards, what else do you think Rock Stars do in the afternoon prior to their Show? It was nice meeting Alice, I can remember in the 70s hearing the song for the 1^st time and then to meet him years later…

So are you all ready? You must have you fridge filled with stuff for your kids, juice and milkshake, not forgetting snacks to go with the drinks. You must have the washing machine ready to be loaded with their school uniforms which will be abandoned all over the floor while my kids, your kids, everybody’s kids get ready for Summer and street clothes.

The cat will jump about too, she will be getting six or seven weeks of attention now, purrrrrfect. You must be ready, you have to be ready, your sanity depends on it. You have smashed the piggybank so your kids can have money for the holidays, if you haven’t smashed that piggybank then do it now, right now, don’t wait for the song to finish on the radio, get the cash.

So the fridge is full, the washing machine is ready, the door ajar, you have used a tin opener to open the piggybank. There is a pile of silver on the living room carpet, Totoro the cat is playing with the coins, now you are ready for Summer. Oh no you are not. You forgot your own secret stash. You put the kids first but forgot yourself. Do you have a stash of Stella Artois hidden under your bed, to you have your own stash of sweets for your own sweet tooth. Do  you have  a few things for yourself  hidden, really hidden well, so you can survive the Summer?

Well I hope you are ready, and don’t forget to go to Poundland for extra batteries and snacks, it could mean the difference between life and death.

Or something even worse, an accusation that 

“YOU DON’T LOVE ME”

 I think I may open a pint of Stella Artois just to steady my nerves, you can all do the same if you haven’t done so already. Happy Holidays.