Diary of a
Cat called Totoro ©
By Michael
Casey
I would type
this myself but my “owner” does not allow me on the keyboard, how can anybody
own a cat, we do what we like and allow the owner to think they are in charge.
I have 4 “owners” in fact, it’s called a family, I am the most important part
of that family, I am the cat. The typist who is typing this for me is Michael
Casey, he’s a writer, 10 books on Amazon. What Amazon is I have no idea, I know
what Aldi is, that’s where my typist buys food for the family. I can recognise
the sound of plastic wrapping paper, I know what it is because inside is
chicken, and I LOVE chicken. I come running down the stairs to the kitchen
whenever I hear this sound.
They have to
be quick opening and closing the fridge door as I may leap inside, I did it
once, so they watch out all the time now. So I learnt how to open the cupboard
doors instead, I just had to sit on the microwave and then reach up. It was fun
helping myself to a bit of bread, I even went inside the cupboard itself. Those
Caseys are stupid thinking I would not work it out. I am Japanese after all,
well my name Totoro is. The Caseys are Birmingham Shanghai people, they talk to
me in English and Chinese, so long as they give me food I don’t care what
language it is.
When they
discovered that I was a thief they started to seal the cupboard doors with
tape, they have no sense of humour, I am a cat after all. Hang on a second I
have to jump on the chair my owner is sitting in, just checking his story
telling ability, I don’t want a rubbish biographer after all. There’s lots of
black on the screen so he must be writing lots of words, whatever words are.
Some words I know, such as pussy, and food, and bad cat, cuddle is a nice word.
I get cuddles as I sit on my owners and they stroke me, then I purr like a late
night taxi in the street.
The house I
live in is big for a cat, I am allowed to go anywhere so long as I use the cat
litter. They have boxes of Whiskas in the kitchen under the table, I climb them
like a mountain, and when they are finished a nice man brings more of them,
keeps me fed for months, whatever a month is. All in all I think I like the
Caseys, if only I could have a boyfriend, but they say one cat is enough.
I sleep in a
wicker basket, they got it half price from B&Q , whatever a B&Q is.
Though really I sleep wherever I Iike, under the typist’s bed is my favourite
place, not because he smells nice, but because it’s the warmest room in the
house, I’m a cat I’m not stupid.
In fact I
follow the sun around sleeping wherever the sunshine is the strongest, the
family has lots of windowsills to lie on, and beds and furniture, on the bed,
under the bed, in the bed under the duvet. Sometimes I just cannot make up my
mind, so I sleep on the landing, they have carpet, it’s a kind of fur for
corridors.
I also have
a party trick, I do a double leap and bounce and then I’m on top of the fridge,
so they can’t ignore me, and they give in to my big kitten eyes and give me
chicken. Well I have to go now, I need a nap, so I’m ready for when the
children come from school. They study
cats at school, I was very pleased to hear it, it’s called CaTuculus, I don’t
know what it is but it must be good. Miaow
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