How do I pick my nose or my words I mean

How do I pick my nose or my words I mean ©

By Michael Casey

To pick my nose I use my finger, but I’ll stop there and leave it to your own imagination. For what I really want to talk about is how do I pick my stories, I nearly used another word there beginning with st but I stopped myself, enough is enough, and less is more as they say.

See as I’m talking to you sounds are the big influence, if I think of this then there is always that, but not the other because that’s another idea and I’m not talking about that at all. See how an idea is a ball in a pin ball machine, or my balls bounce about and make different noises and flashing lights. By my balls I mean my juggling balls, and by balls I means IDEAS, I was using a Metaphor, but will any of you believe me?

So as I sit in my chair I think what should I talk about, what ideas do I have, then a neighbour may pass by outside and the way they look or walk reminds me of something or I get an idea. If you like they are my ingredients, they are my fridge contents. So a person is an egg, and somebody else is a bit of cheese, and then there is ham, I just mix them together to form an omelet. So does that make me a greedy pig, or somebody who knows his onions but not his dictionary.

Then  there events from my day, such as today meeting a nice lady and having a good old gossip, she was an audio typist so hello to her if she reads this over Christmas at her friend’s house. Yes my writing is random, that’s what stops it for being boring for me as the writer. I think I did mention to the audio typist that I do want to dictate my next full length novel, Tears for a Butcher, that way I could write or rather dictate it in 3 months. If I try writing it myself it would take a year at least, and due to the state of my health I am not inclined to do it, and that’s why you get short stories from me. They take an hour to write and are like bars of chocolate, or I hope you think so, but do remember to brush your teeth after you read any of my stories.

As I talk to you I can hear Totoro our cat running around, she has 3 bells on her collar and a little badge saying “Best Bitch”, it was given to us by a Lesbian friend, and ended up on the cat. This is how we are in our Adams family here in Birmingham. Today we had our first real Christmas tree, my wife was ecstatic, our girls dressed the tree and they were very happy too. Totoro was outside hissing at the neighbour’s cat, we have yet to discover where she goes when we let her out. She has come back home smelling of perfume and of pizza. So she may visit our Polish or Japanese neighbours and their children, or our gay neighbours over the garden fences.

Our other gay neighbours have a wonderful Christmas tree in the window so my wife is so happy that ours is just as good as theirs. As for Totoro she enjoys climbing on top of our fridge, so I am half expecting her to dive bomb into the Christmas tree from that vantage point.   

I need to go to bed now so I’ll finish for the night, I hope I’ve shared my trick with you, making the ordinary sound interesting. As Frank Carson the comedian used to say, you’ve heard it all before, but its the way I tell them. So Goodnight to you all and please do send a Christmas card to anybody who’d enjoy the love, ecards are available too.