Stink in the Fridge

Stink in the Fridge ©

By Michael Casey

I was in the fridge looking for any leftovers when I wondered what it would be like to live in the fridge, it must be so cold after all. Then there is the fact that it is so dark inside, so if you were afraid of the dark it would be a fearsome experience. So how was life in the fridge for all the fridge life inhabitants.

I’m so cold in here that human hates us, leaving us in the cold and in the dark, is he just trying to save on his electricity bill. Come on you tomatoes lets jump up and down and we will create light, hey you sad bottles of milk make some bubbles and lets have some heat in here, those cows must have left some methane in the milk they are always farting, and leaving big messages everywhere.

So the tomatoes jump and the milk shakes and light and heat emerges inside the fridge. Look we are all gonna be eaten so we need to get this party started, lets start with Doe a Dear to cheer us up then there is Somewhere over the Rainbow and Out Of the Fridge. Soon the contents of the fridge were partying, outside nobody would ever know what was going on inside, except for Totoro the family cat who was trying to sleep on top of the fridge and could not due to all of the singing, she was a Cool Cat after all.

The girls came home from school and headed for the fridge, everything stopped inside the fridge, parting kisses were exchanged between the eggs and the tomatoes, the milk looked on and gurgled, the yoghurt and the Camembert just made a stink that’s all they could do. The eggs were taken outside for the firing/scrambling squad, Humpty Dumpty himself could not save them, he was trapped in the freezer box, he had his nose up against a cabbage, a red cabbage at that.

The fridge door opened again, those sisters were so horrid always eating when they came home from school, and in the morning they always had, BREAKFAST, they were savages absolute savages. Now those evil ugly girls were going to drown the bread, dipping it in the eggs, it wasn’t natural forcing eggs to soak bread and then saying it was French, French toast. Then together the egg and bread were burnt alive, Joan of Arc had suffered like that. So why remind the world with this French toast. Those girls were evil, and they even gave some to Totoro the cat when she leapt down from her perch on top of the fridge.

The food in the fridge consoled itself for a few hours singing songs, always look on the bright side of life was very popular as it reminded them of the light going on. Then at Midnight, and they knew it was Midnight as the clock chimed, the fridge door was flung open and Totoro who had been asleep on top of the fridge purred with delight.

Midnight feast, everything left in fridge was flung into the wok, and Mrs Casey and her evil daughters made Egg Fried Everything. The tomatoes leaked everywhere as they were diced and spliced and flung into the wok. The milk gurgled and the yoghurt bubbled, as for the Camembert it made an almighty stink in protest before it too was flung into the wok, Chinese words and laughter as it melted into the melange, those Casey women had raided the fridge and left it empty and pointless. Totoro leapt inside he could smell some spilt dairy and was busy licking I as the fridge door was being closed. A sad solitary tomato laughed in glee, but Totoro slashed his cheeky cheeks before leaping out of the fridge. The Midnight feast was over, time to sneak into a bed, Totoro was not stupid for she had just been fed, and as for the tomato it was DEAD.