which way shall i go

Which Way Shall I Go? (c)

By

Michael Casey

When we drive we follow a route, to school, to work, or to the shops, its all very straightforward. Things get more complicated when we have no plan, no destination, when we are making up are mind on the hoof. We'll follow a red car, then we'll follow a blue car, then we'll follow a bus, then we are lost,

Our lives can be like that too, a kind of improv comedy gone wrong. My own life fell over and I was down in the dirt a few times. Then you get up and start over, its better than staying in the dirt after all, and yes I'm no Ali, nor any other sporting hero, though I may weigh more than Ali did, I'm 238 to 245 pounds if you are American or 17.5stones to the rest of us, or 110kilos + if you are European. Though I look a lot lot lighter, a smile makes you lighter, try smiling in the mirror right now.

With Life it helps to have a direction, I never did myself I just kind of stumbled from this to that. As Mark Harris once said I was a good stumbler, he also said I had no intellectual stamina, I told him never to call me intellectual again and I called him something in return, if you buy Mark a pint of Stella Artois he may tell you what, this was 20 years ago. What he didn't say was that I could wipe the floor with him as far as ideas were concerned. You have ideas people and you have plods, I am an ideas person, well as far as writing goes.

So in your life you have to decide shall I follow my heart or follow safety. I just took what ever came up first, as nothing else came up. So I was a stumbler, but you can have a degree from Oxford or Cambridge and still your little brother, or the runt of the family does better financially than you. And yes I'm talking about a period in time of my own family, and yes I'm a very big runt, as Mark Harris may agree. I've not seen him I maybe 15 years now, I thought I'd mention him in a story and maybe he'd get a free pint of Stella Artois out of it, see Mark, Stats people stick together, they have too or they fall over, hic.

Opportunities knock, and you have to answer that knock, I was once offered promotion but I knew I could not do the job, so I was honest and turned it down. The person who got it later on, was kind enough to call me a burnt out has been, rather like the way Russia is talking about Obama. For his sins the guy ended up as a tramp in the street, booze and arrogance and divorce led to that future.

So be careful what you say, as for me and Obama we'll meet for a few pints of Stella Artois on our join book tour, I will of course take Obama to Aldi so he can buy 150 presents for all of his security detail. He got a Jorg Grey watch from them, perhaps he'll buy a 5quid watch in return for each of them, or maybe just a few pallets of Stella Artois, as it's on offer. The Beast must be able to fit a ton of lager in the boot.

Obama may ask for my advice on which way to go next, so I'll tell him to try and get a job as General Manager in a hotel, every day is so varied, just like being President of the USA. I'm sure he could soon get the hang of it if he tried, he'll have to wear a decent suit though. I loved my 3 years in hotels, I stumbled into it and loved it, so if Obama puts his shoulder to the wheel he'll do ok, with my advice.

I have to turn into the kitchen now, the cat is calling and my own belly too, always answer your belly or you get a headache and you makes mistakes in whatever you are doing. Ditto with the toilet, always answer the call of nature, otherwise you'll have an accident, I always do, cKd insists upon it. I'm sure if Hillary ate all her food on time and did not hold in her pee so much she'd be President now. But I've got her a nice job, she's the new crossings patrol lady outside our local primary school, she loves the job to pieces, she gets free dinners with the kids and she can use the staff toilet any time she needs it.